SEX IS MAGICAL BECAUSE IT CHANGES YOU

 The last post explored reasons sex is magical. I unpacked ideas about how it is meaningful, that but skirted around the main one.

Sex is magical because it changes you. 

It changes your state of consciousness. 

I take a booking from a young man who lives out of town. He sounds keen, but when clients book several hours out, I know that they sometimes don't turn up. Sometimes they just jerk off and lose interest, or sometimes they get distracted by other things or spend their money elsewhere. By the time he finally arrives it is 11 at night and he is just about on fire. Afterwards, he lies flat on the bed and I watch his eyes clear and his face relax. It's midnight, he says. He pauses. I have to drive for an hour and a half to get home, he says. He pauses. I have to get up at three to milk the cows, he says. Gosh, I think to myself, I hope I made it worth his while. 

Sheer lust changed his state of consciousness. One might say it dulled it, made him impulsive and cost him money. But lust is a driver. Whatever drives you, changes you. Being aware of lust in yourself, not just what you lust after, but lust as an internal state, can be instructive. Nest time you feel sexual arousal, be aware of how it moves in your body, what it does to memory, what emotions it hangs off. Does it make you anxious? Does your heart rate go up, do you sweat? Does it make you distracted? Irritable? Energized?

Orgasm, the little death, is of course a change in consciousness with a particular physicality to it. It can teach you about the dynamics of tension and release. That feeling of dying or of merging, and the feeling afterwards of post coital triste, or contentment, or bliss, whatever it is, all is useful to the magician. It was at the moment of my clients' orgasms that I at times would have visions of their ancestry, or their memories would flood into me. Once client said to me immediately afterwards 'Ask me something'. When I asked why, he said that up to one minute after orgasm a man is incapable of lying. I don't know about that, but a disinhibited state is good for magic, for sure, if handled wisely. 

Playing with changes of states is a fundamental part of magic. A non judgmental, open hearted awareness leads to control and self discipline which you need for magic. 

Sexual experiences also change your status in traditional societies. Brides were prepared for their marriage beds and marriages were expected to be consummated. Sex had a social and even political role. That change in status can also be magical. You know something you didn't know beforehand. You are in a different club now. You have also been known in a new way. And new sexual experiences can be risky. The frisson of risk all by itself packs a magical punch. Managing risk, keeping both your nerve and your self respect, is useful magical learning, especially when practicing demonolotry. 

I was once asked about sex magic for those who have been sexually abused. I can't speak from experience. I have known sex workers who have used sex work to take back their power. Sometimes this was a form of revenge, of using men. Sometimes it was a way of overwhelming clients with full on feminine beauty and skill. I know that sex is often not equal and it can be charged with the worst aspects of patriarchy. I am not treating sex as if it is neutral. The ideas above are formed within a milieu where consent, agency and some small degree of shared understanding is a given. 

As always, blessings on you, gentle reader.